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Thoughts on having a baby

  1. You expect your world to narrow a bit. You can’t just bounce out the door whenever you want, and besides, you still need to figure out what the hell you’re doing.

    Even so, it’s a surprise when your thoughts are suddenly consumed by poop, and poop exclusively. Smell, color, texture, volume, frequency, how it arrives, how it departs, which clever literary references describe it best.

    Friends told you this would happen, but still. You realize you’ve hit rock bottom when you start gushing at a dinner party about soft, even grains in a thick yellow paste. Don’t fight it. Embrace it. (The talking, that is. Not the poop.)
  2. Asking other parents for advice is like reading the Bible. It’s a deep well, and there is some good stuff in there, but it’s couched in language you don’t understand, and when you do piece together a few bits, they all contradict each other.
  3. Continue reading
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Happy 1000th, Bridgy

Bridgy, my little IndieWeb side project, hit a milestone a couple days ago: 1000 users! Congratulations Brett Glisson, you win the prize!

1000 isn’t a big number. We’re a long way from viral marketing, growth hacking, and customer acquisition tracking, and that’s fine with me. I built Bridgy to scratch my own itch, in fine open source and IndieWeb tradition, and only launched it publicly because I thought other people might have the same itch. Continue reading

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God is Disappointed in You

God is Disappointed in You is a short-and-sweet retelling of the Bible with modern language and an unrelenting sense of humor. It’s hilarious. Here are some of my favorite quotes so far.

God “discovered” the Promised Land in much the same way that my mother discovered the Olive Garden. Everybody already knew about it, and it was already full of people when she got there, but hey, unlimited breadsticks.

When the Jews arrived at the Promised Land, they were a little irked to find the place overrun with pagans…God ordered them to celebrate by killing all the men, women and children. He also ordered them to kill their cattle and their sheep and throw all their belongings into a bonfire, as if [they] never existed. So it was sort of like, “You know, maybe we really did discover the Olive Garden.”

God took a shine to a 75 year-old man named Abraham…Abraham’s descendants would be his chosen people. To finalize the deal, Abraham agreed to cut a tiny bit off the penis of every man who would ever be born into his family. Contracts worked differently back then. Continue reading

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