I have to admit, I’m a little reluctant to post this…but only a little, so what the hell. Kieran and I just got back from the Air Sex World Championships at the Independent, in San Francisco, and…wow. What a show.

You’ve heard of air guitar, right? Imagine that, but instead of playing guitar, the performers are having sex. And not just normal, boring, missionary sex, but every kind of kink you can imagine. It was over the top, raunchy, totally unnecessary, and a blast from start to end.

Highlights included Robolover, “Créme Brûlée’d,” the Carnival Players, and an amateur act who signed up at the last minute, told the DJ to surprise her, and invented an entire routine on the fly. Props to her!

Even with great performers, though, it wouldn’t have been the same without the audience. I expected a crowd of hipsters, but I was pleasantly surprised at how varied the crowd was. It looked like every neighborhood in the city was represented – SOMA, the Mission, the Marina, even the ‘burbs in the Sunset and the Richmond. The only unifying thread was enthusiasm. Everyone was excited, loud, and ready for the show. It was infectious.

To be fair, it wasn’t all corsets and lace. We may have been newcomers, but Kieran and I agreed that there was a little too much theater, a few too many props, and not enough real, straightforward, unadulterated air sex.

Even so, it was an unforgettable experience. I can’t wait for next year. Hell, with the right inspiration, maybe I’ll even sign up!