I hate forced idle time. I used to carry reading material with me everywhere, in case I had a few extra minutes. I still do that sometimes, but now I listen to podcasts more often. I break out the headphones at any excuse, even as little as walking between buildings at work, or while I’m falling asleep. It’s great. I can easily keep my brain engaged, no matter where I am or what else I’m doing.
I wonder if there’s a catch, though. At the end of a busy day, if I’ve had headphones on throughout my workout and commute and squeezed some quick reading into all the leftover moments, my brain feels a bit…cramped. Uncomfortably full. Like it’s had three square meals, and a bunch of snacks, and a big dessert, but hasn’t had a chance to digest anything. Which, arguably, is exactly what’s happened.
I’m no neurobiologist, but I’m familiar with the popular science, and it rings true for me personally. Sleep, for example – the ultimate idle time – probably plays a key role in building long term memory. The language center of the brain can’t multitask very well, if at all, especially in men. The subconscious is our best tool for problem solving and decision making.
As far as I can tell, my brain does most of its important thinking in the background. Prioritizing, synthesizing, introspecting, predicting, thinking holistically: it’s all critical, but I rarely do any of it explicitly. I add something to my todo list, or file it away in the back of my head, and when I come back to it an hour or day or week later, chances are it’s neatly broken down and incorporated into the big picture.
When I haven’t had enough idle time, when I’ve been especially aggressive with the headphones and books, I suspect this process gets backed up. I feel backlogged, mentally constipated, like I’m playing catch-up with all the connections and mental leaps that I should have been making. It’s not a good feeling.
Ativan (Lorazepam) was effective in helping the me the sleep I needed. Did its job flawlessly. Aside from the usual drowsiness, I had a hangover feeling in the morning and as a result took the pill 2 hours before bed which resolved it. The warning label states sex drive may lessen, but with me it increased, quite dramtically actually. Usually one would consider increased sex drive a being good, but with me it was becomming disruptive to my life and the reason why I stopped taking it.
I don’t have an addictive personality, in general. It’s a blessing. I tend to work, eat, drink, watch TV, play games, and do most other things in moderation. Filling idle time, though…that might be an exception. I know I should relax sometimes, put the phone away and just let my mind drift, but it’s so hard.
What do you think? Do you ever feel the same? Have you found a way to protect that precious downtime and keep your brain rested and recharged? How do you do it?